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Making a New
Start: Dealing With Yourself Cathy Fothergill, copyright 2001
In business and in life, we all face challenges. There may not be any other challenge so great as being forced to make a new start in life. Some may lose all their material possessions due to a natural disaster. Perhaps your challenge may take the form of a business failure. You may have just decided that what you were doing wasn't working. Whatever the reason, making a new start can be a daunting task. It doesn't have to be so.
To many, losing everything means that dreams are dashed. On the contrary, what a wonderful opportunity we have when things around us collapse. That sounds strange, doesn't it? How many people get a second chance at life, or business? A catastrophic loss actually lets you get life back in perspective. After all, shouldn't we all look at each day as an opportunity to make a fresh start? You may not have control of the circumstances surrounding your reasons for having to start again, but you do have control of your attitude toward your new beginning. With the right attitude, you can take what could be a negative experience and turn it into a positive one. You actually have the opportunity to create the life of your dreams.
Here are some things to remember as you make your fresh start.
Work through the pain. Scream cry, get mad, vent...whatever. Get the grief out, over and done. Then don't revisit it, ever. Now you can begin the restoration process.
Find peace. Read, watch and listen to as much uplifting material as you can. Listen to peaceful music, think peaceful thoughts, pray and meditate. Do whatever you have to do in order to restore your inner peace.
Build yourself. Now consume as much material as you can that will help you rebuild your faith in yourself and your capacity to hope. Hope is what gives you energy and helps you dream again. Faith will help you believe that you are equal to the task.
Build your future. Create your new dream. Start from scratch. Ask yourself whether you really want to restore exactly what you had. If not, now is a great time to change that. The only thing you should bring with you is what you learned from past experiences. Decide what you really want. Chances are, that your dreams may have changed since you first started out. Even if that is the case, it is still human nature to resist change. We tend to hold on to those old dreams and old perceptions. What's great is that you now have more experience in business and in life than you did when you first started chasing your dreams. Now is the time to take hold of a new dream, or redefine your old one. Ask yourself: "What am I passionate about?" "What kind of life do I really want?" Are there things I don't want in my life any more?" Remember, now you have experience to back you. In the words of William Knudson, "Experience is merely knowing a lot of things you shouldn't do."
Create new goals. Make them small at first and easily attained. In this way, you will rebuild your confidence as you reach each goal. Gradually set your goals higher and higher as you regain your momentum. Remember to rejoice in your new accomplishments.
As you create your new life, remember these points.
1. Don't ask why your personal calamity happened, except to assess and evaluate any mistakes you might have made to cause the problem. Then only look at those mistakes to discover what you could do differently next time to avoid the same outcome.
2. Don't allow yourself to become bitter. This can be a tough one if you were a distributor in a failed company. Just remember, the company failed you, not vice versa. Being bitter only hurts you.
3. Don't stay where you are. Start the process of rebuilding your life and/or your business immediately. Get moving.
4. You always have the opportunity to win. "Don't give up at half-time. Concentrate on winning the second half." Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant
5. In starting again, nothing's ever truly new. You have the benefit of past experiences, successes and failures to guide you as you begin again. You are wiser now. Draw on that wisdom.
6. Don't get in a hurry. You won't be able to recover overnight. That is why it is so important to set small goals and rejoice in their attainment. Try to be patient!
Finally... Is losing your material possessions a calamity? Is a failed business the end of the world? It might seem like it at the time, but of course, it's not. Change your attitude and you'll change your life. You now have a wonderful opportunity, an opportunity that many never have (or won't take). Not many people will allow themselves to change anything about their life or their business unless something forces them to. Have you ever said, "If I had only known so and so when I started out..." or, "If I had to do it over...."? Now you have that chance. What you have learned from past experience, both negative and positive, can now be translated into the realm of your new reality. Enjoy it!
**Article by: Cathy Fothergill, Copyright 2001. First published, You Plus Two, 07/15/01. Do you write articles? Great! Webmasters and ezine publishers are just dying to hear what you have to say. Get on over to: http://www.connectionteam.com and start submitting.
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How Do You
See Yourself?By Cathy Fothergill
I recently bought a gift card. When I saw it, I just couldn't resist. On the front was a picture of a kitten looking into a mirror. The reflection the kitten sees is that of a lion, king of beasts.
Many would just get a little laugh out of this tiny card. It had a much different effect on me. My mind started pondering the many ways to look at the message behind it.
You see, I believe that the root of our successes and failures in this life all boil down to the message in that little card. What we get out of life depends on how we see ourselves. No doubt, that little kitten on the card sees nothing as an obstacle because he sees himself as the king of beasts. After all, a lion is all powerful. A lion cannot be defeated. This little kitten would not run from danger, because of the way he sees himself.
We all have areas of our character where we need to be able to see ourselves as lions, invincible and all powerful. The unfortunate truth is that most don't know how to begin to see themselves as such. We continue to see ourselves as kittens, again and again.
Overcoming failure and achieving ultimate success depends on our ability to be able to begin to view ourselves as the king of the jungle in particular areas.
What did I do with that gift card? It is prominently displayed atop my computer tower. I gaze at it several times each day. Every time I face a situation where I need to see myself as a lion, that card is there to remind me.
What areas of your life are begging for you to begin to see yourself as a lion? Talk to yourself. Speak positive things about yourself and your abilities. As you do so, you will begin to become the very thing you desire. How do you see yourself?
**Article by: Cathy Fothergill, Copyright 2000. Do you write articles? Great! Webmasters and ezine publishers are just dying to hear what you have to say. Get on over to: http://www.connectionteam.com and start submitting.
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If A
Squirrel Can Do It...By: Cathy Fothergill
The other morning I just had to have a break from my computer. I got a fresh cup of coffee and headed out to my front porch to gather my "wits".
A squirrel soon caught my attention. He was moving with swift precision along a power line on the other side of the street. Every time he lost his balance, with a flip of the tail he adjusted a bit and kept right on going. His missed steps didn't seem to slow him down at all.
In my mind's eye, I began to replay the actions of all the squirrels I've ever seen. They run, jump, climb and sometimes even seem to fly...all without fear. They don't appear to be afraid they'll fall or they wouldn't do some of the things they do.
What did that squirrel do when he lost his balance? Well, he didn't stop and look around as if to say, "Oh my, I might fall. How can I get to the other side?" If that squirrel was even a bit concerned, his actions sure didn't show it. It was as if he knew he wouldn't fall. He knew he had the ability to handle the situation. He trusted his own gifts.
Have I ever seen a squirrel fall? Yes, I have. What did he do? He got up and dashed back up the same tree. Unafraid and unscathed, he quickly got back on track.
What were my thoughts as I watched this squirrel? I had to ask myself some questions. "What *would* I do if I wasn't afraid to fall?" What *could* I do if I knew I wouldn't fall?"
We all do it. We have an idea or an opportunity and we don't take action. Is it because we are afraid it won't work? Is it because we don't trust our own abilities. Is it because we're afraid we'll fall (fail)?
As I pondered the squirrel, I was forced to issue myself some personal challenges. 1. Act on ideas 2. Don't fear falling (failure) 3. Trust that whatever I feel compelled to do, I have the built in ability to do. 4. Get right back on track if I should fall.
Now, I challenge you: Where is there fear in your life? What would you do or could you do if you weren't afraid to fall? Examine your strengths, ideas and ambitions. Issue yourself some challenges in areas you need to improve. Most important of all remember, if a squirrel can do it...
Article by: Cathy Fothergill, Copyright 2000. First published
in You Plus Two 9/16/00. Do you write articles? Great! Webmasters and ezine publishers are just dying to hear what you have to say. Get on over to: http://www.connectionteam.com and start submitting.
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Saturday Is
Soccer DayBy: Cathy Fothergill, copyright 2001
While trying to run a business and a home, like most of you, my days are filled with "have to's" and "need to's". This schedule is occasionally interrupted by doing favors for friends. The trouble is, this can make for a pretty hectic schedule. It leaves little or no time for the "want to's".
As a decision to do more "want to's", I recently agreed to help coach a soccer team. Coaching soccer is something I love to do. Ever since I was first drafted into taking a team (years ago), I have loved coaching the sport. There is something special about teaching skills and then watching the young players perform. There is great satisfaction when they actually get it.
Recently, a friend of mine was trying to "guilt" me into offering several days out of my schedule to help her with a move. (I had already dedicated several hours to this task.) Instead of just saying, "I don't have time", I launched into a laundry list of things I had to get done. As I ticked down the list, I said, "...and Saturday is soccer day". Her response to this was, "You do too much! You don't need to be coaching a soccer team". I can proudly say that only a part of the lecture that formed in my mind actually proceeded out of my mouth.
How often do we all run into this problem? Those who are on the outside looking in think they have the right to tell us what we should or should not be doing in our lives. Many (or most) times, the judgements of these people are based on how what we are doing affects THEM. In my friend's case, I believe she thought I should have more time in my schedule to help her. In her viewpoint, soccer was the only insignificant thing in my schedule she could find to attack. I guess she figured that I would just run right out and quit coaching so I could help her with her move. Instead, she touched a nerve. I responded by reminding her that she would be very upset if anyone asked her to give up her crafts or gardening. I think I made my point without getting as belligerent as I might have liked.
Here's the point. As business and family life cause you to become busier, don't let anyone tell you what you should or should not make time to do. Spend time on your business. Spend time with your family. If your heart wants and needs to do something, do it. Stop allowing every hour of your life to be controlled by "have to's" and "need to's". Add a few "want to's" and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Most important, don't judge anyone else if they tell you, "Saturday is soccer day".
**Article by: Cathy Fothergill, Copyright 2000. First published in You Plus Two, 11/30/01. Do you write articles? Great! Webmasters and ezine publishers are just dying to hear what you have to say. Get on over to: http://www.connectionteam.com and start submitting.
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